I thought it was about time that I wrote a blog post explaining where I have been and what’s been going on! I haven’t written a post since the beginning of September, and you may have noticed that this post was a little different from my others.
I want this blog post to be as transparent as possible and I want to be honest about the direction my blog will be going in, what sort of posts I will be writing and how often they will be going up. Honestly, I did consider closing my blog down, but I love writing so much that I decided against it. I hope that this post is informative for those of you who have enjoyed reading & staying up to date with my posts!
I felt the best way to do it is to list the reasons why I haven’t been posting and ending with a little summary of what will be happening next. Enjoy!
Back to uni ♥
One of the main reasons why I haven’t been posting is because of the struggles of uni. I am now in my final year so my work load has just about quadrupled and I have basically no free time! I spend most of my days reading philosophy journals about whether morality really exists and working on team projects and presentations (which are both things I have really struggled with in the past). I love my degree but I am super happy to be finishing next year. Currently I am exploring the world of work and deciding what I want to do after I finish. Once I have finished all my research and have made a decision I will be writing a post about life after uni, talking about applying to Graduate Schemes, reaching out for support and some awesome apps for Graduates, which I am really looking forward to writing!
A mental health crisis ♥
As I had expected, with the return to Uni came a return to poor mental health and wellbeing. My depression and depersonalisation has been severe over the past month and some days I have struggled to get out of bed. This meant that I missed some lectures (which I really wanted to avoid this year!), gained a ton of weight and cried a lot – not ideal during week 1 of final year. After finally excepting that it was all too much, I made the decision to go back to therapy. This was a tough choice because I thought I had closed that chapter of my life, but then I remembered recovery is a journey and not a destination. I am nervous and excited to be having more therapy and I hope that it will prepare me for leaving uni and saying goodbye to education. I also hope that it will increase my confidence and help me to look at things in a more rational way, no matter how irrational they seem!
Work, work, work work work work ♥
I don’t actually have a job at the moment, which is part of the reason why work has stopped me from blogging. Any free time that I do have I honestly spend looking and applying for jobs. Part time work is tough to find, especially in Brighton where there are 2 Uni’s, so double the number of students looking for jobs. At the moment, I am doing an unpaid internship for a hair company which I am absolutely loving! I am gaining a lot of experience and for those of you who know me well, you know how much I love hair talk. Although I am getting experience doing something I love, I still need to find a way to bring the pennies in.
Lack of motivation ♥
After my last blog post, I experienced a huge feeling of negativity and demotivation. My blog hadn’t been getting as many views and I wasn’t reaching as many people as I would have liked to. I started focusing a lot on SEO, word counts and ‘tag words’ to try and increase engagement, which mostly just took all the fun out of blogging. I felt like a bit of an angsty teenager, feeling like ‘if no one will read it then I wont write it anymore’ which is a really shitty attitude to have to be honest. I first started blogging because I wanted to help people who I felt I could offer advice and support to. It didn’t matter how many people, it was just nice to hear that I had helped at least 1 or 2. Now that I have re-humbled myself, I realise that I don’t really care how many people are interested in my future posts, I would just like to keep writing blog posts because I enjoy them and I think some other people do to!
New experiences ♥
September hasn’t been all bad, even though it may seem so! I made some awesome new friends last month which really helped brighten my mood and put some positivity back into my life. I’ve been going out for dinners and cocktails, and I’m even going to try an exercise class! (maybe..). I really want to spend more time with friends as well as my family & my boyfriend, because it’s super important to include all your important people in your life. I actually found out I love being busy doing fun things, which is fantastic because fun things = money (all the more need for a part time job!) During the month of November I am also hoping to go to the gym at least once, start singing again, attend a mental wellbeing gardening class and of course write more blog posts.
This is more so about the future of my blog. I am no longer going to be setting a target of when I will be writing posts as it all depends on my work load and also my wellbeing. Sometimes I struggle to write positive mental health advice when I’m feeling down, or body positivity posts when I am full of body negativity. I also have a lot of reviews which I will be posting over this month and next. These are mostly reviews about products which are sent to me and collaborations with companies. This may not be something which everyone is interested in which is absolutely fine, I will still be posting my usual health and wellbeing stuff occasionally! I have decided to go down this route as I enjoy receiving new, exciting things to try out and write about, and it also offers me something in return for me work.
I am also thinking of writing some more personal posts rather than general stuff. I’d like to talk about my own experiences and ideas of current issues in society as this is something I really enjoy (as a dedicated Philosophy student). I would love to know what you would like me to write about; anything you have an opinion on , feel strongly about or are struggling with. Feel free to email me any ideas and if I write a post up about it I will keep it all anonymous!
That’s all from me for now. I am planning a little halloween post which again is going to be a little different from my others! After this, I will be posting every now and again with the odd product review, the occasional advice post, and a ‘complaining about society’ post from time to time.